Don’t make offers worth sweet FA

As the final whistle blew, I let out a huge sigh of relief.

Not euphoria.

I’ve followed Manchester United for 36 years now. I remember the first goal that made me feel triumphant, it was Gordon Strachan bursting through against Liverpool in 1988.

Our arch rivals to this day, whatever City might think!

Why relief? Well, we’ve been pants all season.

As the relief turned into a gradual sense of comfort, then joy, then finally, excitement (all in 10 seconds) my phone pinged.

I assumed it would be my mates on the United whatsapp group.

No, it was a text.


Manchester United.

Had they been made aware of my punderful analysis on the group chat?

Did they agree that Antony is a better LB than RW?

No, they were offering me, wait for it….

£5 off membership for 2023/2024 season.

Given I’m already a member this is smart timing BUT…


It’s pathetic.

Not so much in terms of the discount, more the creativity.

I’m already a customer, I was going to renew anyway, now was the perfect time to do something more creative and get me to buy something BIGGER.

Why not give me a chance to renew AND get an upgrade?

Or renew and buy a prize draw ticket for a VIP Match Day experience?

You can never predict the score or whether you are going to win the game but you absolutely CAN have a range of options lined up to fire as soon as something is known.

Man of The Match? 

Confirmed within seconds of the final whistle Use that name as a code to access something special.

The winning goal? Amad.

You know he is in the squad, create a contingency, however unlikely, that if it is him who nabs the glory, that’s your code.

This is a billion pound enterprise operating with a bargain basement marketing mentality.

Did I renew? 

No. I went to the hospitality pages and scanned hopefully for semi final tickets.

Hundreds of times more valuable to them than buying my £60 annual membership with a £5 offer.

Have they spotted this or reached out given I’ve enquired before?


Talk about missing an open goal